10 We All Got Up To At British Secondary Schools Tools For Stupid Crazes

When we were younger the place we spent most of our lives was in school. That makes it one of the most important chapters of your life. A place of prepubescent wolves and substitute teachers. Where food was runny and cold. Where we were all moulded into the upstanding adults we are today. A land where being asked to take a note to another teacher felt like you had just been honoured with the task of taking the ring to Mordor. A time where we had to listen to the teacher tell you the story about the kid who swung too far back on his chair and died. Before returning home to watch Art Attack and thinking that anything was possible as long as you had some PVA glue. Ah the good ol’ days. We all look back on those days fondly and a huge part of that is the stupid little things we used get up to. Things that seemed clever and cool at the time, but now with hindsight seem totally lame. Get ready for a trip down memory lane, class is about to start.

1. Peanutting:

   After spending several minutes each morning perfecting the length and position of your tie, you get to school and it was all a waste of time. For nothing is funnier to a school kid than yanking a tie so hard it knots beyond the point of no return. The knot is apparently so tight it resembles a peanut, hence the name. Click Here to Learn More About Peanutting:
   

2. Pocketing:

   I can still see the look on my mum’s face when I returned home pocket less for the umpteenth time. But really what can you do to avoid it? Pocket thief’s conduct their naughtiness in a clandestine manner, waiting in the shadows to pounce at the first sight of weakness. Unless you navigated the corridors with your torso tucked-up-tight against lockers, you’re constantly in the line of fire for these heartless-pocket-stealer. Click Here to Learn More About Pocketing:
   

3. Cupping:

   Cupping is the viscous slapping of a boys’ testicles and hands down the worst craze that ever existed in schools. For a guy, nothing hurts more than a shot to the pills. It’s the worst. It all started because somehow being able to take the pain was a sign of having balls, there’s logic them somewhere… To avoid getting cupped, boys would form alliances with their closest friends, there’s safety in numbers. Other avoidance tactics included wearing a cricket cup. Click Here to Learn More About Cupping:
   

4. Pig Latin:

   Ellohay, oday ouyay ememberray owhay annoyingway Igpay Atinlay asway? Emay ootay. Oh, that’s ‘hello, do you remember how annoying Pig Latin was? Me too,’ for any non-speakers. And yep, it still makes the hairs on my neck spike up in a rage of annoyance. Particularly popular with girls who assumed their secret language was on par with the Enigma code, it wasn’t.Click Here to Learn More About Pig Latin:
   

5. ‘Your Mum’:

   For a good two year spell ‘Your Mum’ was the standard response to just about every question. As funny as it’s clever, it became an instantaneous reply to rope-ladder people out of any situation. “What d’you get up to last night?”, “Your Mum.” Brilliant. Click Here to Learn More About ‘Your Mum’:
   

6. Bundles:

   An all-time classic and quite possibly the most dangerous item on this list. Any time you hit the deck at lunch time, watch out, for a horde of your mates are likely to be charging at you hell bent on squishing you like a bug. If god is on your side then sometimes you can wriggle your way out, at which point you jump on top of the bundle, naturally. Click Here to Learn More About Bundles:
   

7. Don’t sit down cause I’ve moved your chair:

   A personal favourite of mine purely for its simplicity and effectiveness. The gist is a person stands up, you move their chair back, they sit down, they hit the ground. This prank is all about context. Pull the manoeuvre off in a classroom and score a C grade, pull it off in assembly in front of the entire school, A+ and legendary status for the rest of your days in education. Click Here to Learn More About Don’t sit down cause I’ve moved your chair:
   

8. Kneel and push:

   Here we have one that requires a bit of nous and strategy, for this is a two-man job. The premise is that one person sneaks up behind a standing individual, kneels behind them, and the other pushes the unsuspecting victim over his accomplices back. Not only does the fall hurt your back, your pride is in tatters. Falling victim to the kneel and push could cost you a shot at the hottie your hoping to pursue at next weekend’s gathering. Click Here to Learn More About Kneel and push:
   

9. Explicit hymn remixes:

   Nothing seemed funnier than singing “He’s got the whole world in his PANTS”, or “It’s from the old I travel to the Poo” in assembly because you were a comical genius who couldn’t be controlled. Click Here to Learn More About Explicit hymn remixes:
   

10. Knee socks:

    Never has a school craze gone so viral so quickly. One day a hot girl in the year above came in wearing knee socks, the next half the girls in school followed suit. Their origin is unknown. Some girls claimed it was a warmth thing, we say that’s cobblers. It was all about standing out and looking sexy. Click Here to Learn More About Knee socks:
    

Many of us got involved with stupid shit at school, but for me it’s all part of the experience. It’s good to get any craziness out of your system before the consequences become too severe. That’s not to say that we’re condoning Chicken Scratching or the like, but if you’re ever gonna do it, do it while you’re young. Are there any other items we could have included on this list? If you've got any funny stories or suggestions we’d really like to hear from you.